


macaroni

by Anonymous



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton Dies, Domestic Fluff, FUCK, Flextape - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Implied Furries, Long Fingernails, M/M, Pie Recipies, Smut, Sounding, did i misspell that, macaroni and cheese, pie recipes, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:27:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28303824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: alex needs thomas. thomas needs alex. they get along.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 18
Collections: Anonymous





	macaroni

Alex skips into the large room, anticipation buzzing like Barry B. Benson fucking his brain. He cheerfully darts his round and bulbous head (not that one you pervs) into the kitchen compartment where Thomas is stirring mac and cheese in a pan. 

He sneaks up behind him and whispers “That’s what good pussy sounds like.”

Thomas turns his head around, with the force of a thousand orgasms. He smiles as he sees his sweet cinnamon apple with two shots of vodka and whipped cream on top smiling up at him. He grins like a crescent moon. Loudly. Alex’s hair is ripped off his forehead from the force of his grin. Holy fuck.

Alex stares. Holy shit he is so fucking hot what the everloving fuck jesus.

“How’s my little cinnamon apple tart made with 6-¾ oz. (1-½ cups) of unbleached all purpose flour, 2 tsp granulated sugar, ½ tsp table salt, 5-½ oz. (11 Tbsp) cold unsalted butter, 1 large egg yolk, 3 Tbs. whole milk, (For the Filling:) 4 cups peeled, thinly sliced apples, 1 tsp pure vanilla extract, ½ tsp. ground cinnamon, 1 Tbsp all-purpose flour, big pinch table salt, 1 large egg beaten well, and 2 Tbs. turbinado sugar (https://www.finecooking.com/recipe/rustic-apple-cinnamon-tart)?”

“I’m good Snuffaluffagus. You’re so hot when you talk dirty.” Alex smirked like a deviled egg with pepper.

“Mmm yeah baby, let me jumble up your insides like what an oven does to an uncooked cake.”

“How does that even make sense, I don’t think ovens do that to cakes,” Alex says while biting his own ear. It tasted like chocolate chip shit. What the fuck.

“Don’t question my fucking cooking skills Alex, just act sweet and eat my ear, we gotta get these fucking kudos,” Thomas demanded as he applied Flextape to the macaroni.

“Timmy Tommy Bitty Boy, what the sweet fuck are you doing?” Alex said lovingly, scratching Thomas’ back with his 10 foot long fingernails. Thomas shuddered, even though he’s a fucking top.

“Flextape.” Thomas explained. He applied more, and the mac and cheese was soon completely covered in a bulletproof burrito of powerful, godly tape.  
“Why are you doing this, this happens every Wednesday.”

Alex had had enough.

He lit the Flextape on fire with the friction of his fingernails on Thomas’ back. Thomas made a noise that sounded like  
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADJKBWERHBGbKGJDBJVKDAKJBVBSKJHM”

“HOW DID YOU MAKE THAT SOUND WITH YOUR MOUTH” Alex says as the entire house burns down.

“FUCK YOU, I’M DYING, I JUST WANTED TO MAKE MACARONI.”

“BITCH, FUCK YOUR MACARONI”

“OH, IMAGINE IF I SAID THAT TO YOUR FUCK PENCIL! YOU INSERT IT INTO MY BULGING COCK EVERY TIME WE HAVE THE FRICK!”

“H-HOW DARE Y-YOU! *shuffles feet* I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL! *furrows eyebrows like two caterpillars wanting to make out*”

“HEY WHAT THE FUCK YOU FURRY PIECE OF SHIT”

Just as Alex was about to say the next line in this story, he burst into flames and sang Shakira.

“T-thomas, I don’t feel so good…” He said to the tune of ‘Hips Don’t Lie’. Then he evaporated.

Thomas smirked, and he turned to the camera like he was on the office. “That’s Life, Folks!” he said cheerfully as a sitcom laugh track played in the now extinguished house.

He then orgasmed and promptly died.


End file.
